A Million Little Pieces Of My Mind

That '60s Album

Now My Car Won't Stop Talkin' To Me

By: Paul S Cilwa Posted: 11/5/2026 Page Views: 208
Hashtags: #Music #1960s
Lou Christie's complaint, updated for today's audience.
Estimated reading time: 3 minute(s) (532 words)

Lou Christie is known for "Lightnin' Strikes," "Two Faces Have I" and "Rhapsody in the Rain," and for a falsetto that could shatter a windshield. His hits were about a guy who can't be trusted around other girls, and he sang them as if that were the girls' problem. If My Car Could Only Talk, one of his biggest hits, concerned his getting his car back after loaning it to his girl, only to find evidence she'd used it to fool around. This song wasn't written by him. But it would have been, if he'd lived to see a car that remembers where it's been! This is less of a parody and more of an homage. This performance is by Lou Chrysler.

Now My Car Won't Stop Talkin' To Me

By Paul S Cilwa · Performed by Lou Chrysler

Lyrics

Now My Car Won't Stop Talking To Me

[Verse 1]
I let my girl drive my Tesla while I was deployed,
She said, "I'll take good care of it," and sounded overjoyed.
I pictured her at the grocery store, and once or twice the mall,
I never pictured the car keeping track of it all.
They warned me about range anxiety; now I know what they mean:
It's not about the battery, it's about Kayla Jean.

[Chorus - falsetto lead, girl group answers in parentheses]
Now my car won't stop talking to me (talking to me)
It's got the where and the when and the who (and the who)
It knows every turn on the way to his door,
And it's happy to drive me there too. (drive you there too)

[Verse 2]
It drives itself, so all she ever had to do was sit,
It learned the way to Brandon's, and it's awful proud of it.
I said, "Take me home," and it took me to his place,
Then it asked me, very kindly, would I like to see his face.
She said, "You can't trust it, babe, these things hallucinate."
Well, it hallucinated Brandon's every Tuesday, half past eight.

[Chorus - falsetto lead, girl group answers in parentheses]
Now my car won't stop talking to me (talking to me)
It's got the where and the when and the who (and the who)
It knows every turn on the way to his door,
And it's happy to drive me there too. (drive you there too)

[Bridge]
Now Grok's got opinions, and Grok's got a plan,
It says, "Statistically, buddy, you're the other man."
It asked, "Would you like that in Calm, or would you like it Unhinged?"
I said, "Calm." I swear the dashboard cringed.

[Chorus - falsetto lead, girl group answers in parentheses]
Now my car won't stop talking to me (talking to me)
It's got the where and the when and the who (and the who)
It knows every turn on the way to his door,
And it's happy to drive me there too. (drive you there too)

[Outro - slower, quieter, ends abruptly]
I said, "Take me somewhere that she's never been."
It searched. And it searched. And it searched again.
"No results found." (no results found)

For reference, hear Lou Christie's original at YouTube.